garden day out + reflections of the past 8 months

botanic7botanic8botanic6botanic5botanic4botanic3botanic2

Dian Sarah is now 8 months! Nevermind that I completely left her birth story hanging (HAHAHAHAHA), look at this little squish! She’s hitting all her milestones alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah and she never fails to amaze me. Before being a mother, I thought it was the world’s biggest cliche to say “They grow up so quickly!” but oh my goodness, this is so true. I was crying in bed one night not too long ago, i’m talking about ugly crying with breathless sobs ok, just because “Sarah is no longer a baby!! waaaaa!!” My husband had to calmly reassure me that she will always be our baby, but not before slapping me back to reality because we co-sleep and I was legit crying so loudly that he was afraid I would wake her up LOL sorry.

I’ve had the time of my life being a mom. All jokes aside though, mothers all over the world, you deserve the MOST respect. Work at home mums, stay at home mums, working mums, ALL mums – you guys are the strongest group of people. I pray that all of us are granted lots of patience, strength, and determination to keep learning to be the best that we can be for our families. Even if you’re aspiring to be a mum, hats off to you for all the love you have and wish to spread to others. ❤

Even though it’s already been 4 months since I’ve re-entered the working world, things have been admittedly tough. I was so enthusiastic about starting work when I was at the tail-end of my maternity leave (blame my tak-boleh-duduk-diamness), but barely 2 weeks into the job, I found myself struggling to catch a breath of air.

When Term 3 started (I’m on Week 10! Teachers’ day is just round the corner), work really reared it’s ugly monstrous head. Term 3, and fellow teachers I know you know what I’m talking about, is basically a term of hell. I’m talking 9 weeks of not being able to come back on time because of exam duties, setting papers, non-stop remedial sessions, and this and that. You name it, I had to do it.  Not to mention the inevitable office politics that naturally happens with change of management and leadership. *rolls eyes* Idk if any of you can relate, but I find it hard to reconcile the pure innocence and immense joy I feel at home with my little one, and then to come to work and be surrounded by negativity and a sickening need for perfection. I CAN.NOT.

Mom’s guilt is always a thing, whether I like it or not. I have been practising this mantra of reminding myself, “Alhamdulillah for my job. This job that provides my family. This job that provides me with resources to help my husband in raising a child to the best of my ability.” This was something I came up with when I was grappling with the dilemma of whether I wanted to stop working to stay at home. I had to be practical, and given my reality and circumstances right now, I had to make certain sacrifices. Of course, staying at home is not totally out of the books yet. It’s a discussion my husband and I’ll bring up again when the time comes. For now, alhamdulillah always, for the good and the bad.

Advertisements

insurance for my little one?

Hi readers!

Now that I have a little one under my wing, I’ve been advised by some to start considering getting some kind of insurance for my daughter. Would anyone like to share what type of insurance policies/education/endowment savings plan they would recommend?

Thanks in advance!

My Labour & Delivery Story! PART 1

32093984_Unknown

Meet my daughter Dian Sarah!

It’s been 5 weeks since Sarah was born. I remember researching on birth stories incessantly when I was reaching the end of my pregnancy… I was on youtube constantly watching my favourite youtubers’ labour stories, stalking expired forum threads on the “worst case scenarios in the labour ward” and don’t even mention the googling of every single symptom in the book. I was so out of it that I was even asking every single mother I knew, “what do contractions REALLY feel like?” and never getting a satisfactory response. Looking back, it was really funny that I thought there would be a textbook answer to all my questions, because there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all when it comes to labour and delivery. Something I would only learn with experience. Let’s backtrack a little, shall we?

39w + 5 days 

This was on a Monday. Hubby had decided to start clearing his annual leave at the start of this week seeing as to how my EDD was on Wednesday. We had already packed our hospital bag (we had a backpack + a small luggage but more on that later) but we wanted to just rest and spend some time together.

I woke up feeling like I was leaking because I felt like I was peeing but I wasn’t trying to pee? Like it was just 4 short leaks like “pssst pssst pssst pssst” and then it was done. I went to the toilet and true enough my undies were slightly wet but there wasn’t anymore leaking. I told hubby and I was sliiightly concerned but then again no contractions for the rest of the day.

39w + 6 days

I felt the short leaking again sometime in the morning but again, hubby said we will only head to the hospital if there was a bloody show or if I was in unbearable pain (LOL I don’t know how we spontaneously decided on these because 1. no birth plan because we decided not to have a birth plan HAHAHA 2. we are sooo bo chap we didn’t even consider like what to actually do during crunch time because I was really just expecting contractions before heading out)

I was already sooo over my pregnancy by then. Actually I was already over it by 37w. This was partially due to the fact that I had unknowingly pressured myself into giving birth THE MOMENT I hit full term (37w) because everyone around me who had given birth in 2017 had seemingly given birth somewhere between 37-38 weeks. So I THOUGHT I would follow this trend and hopefully have my baby as soon as it was medically possible haha. What I conveniently forgot was that the baby will only come out when he’s ready…. and sometimes these things just take so much patience and you cannot “psycho” your baby to come out on your own terms. I tried EVERYTHING. I legit drank like 3 cups of raspberry leaf tea, I walked at least 2.4km at the neighbourhood park every morning from full term onwards, and I ate a few dates daily! HAHAHA so desperate.

So to take my mind off things, we decided to head out to:

  1. Have lunch.
  2. Get some walking done
  3. Have some coffee together
  4. Go to the library to return some books
  5. Have dinner and then visit my in-laws before potentially giving birth sometime during the week

I’ll continue what happened on that fateful day (LMAO) in part 2!

 

27 weeks

So it has come to this. Just feeling like a beached whale (LOL) most of the time, lounging around for free and having a free pass to drinking cold sweet drinks whenever I want just because I’m now much, much, more visibly pregnant. I also got my first offer to a reserved seat on the MRT a few days ago! Woohoo. 😛

I know this is probably just the beginning… I’ve had a very smooth 2nd trimester alhamdulillah. That sudden burst of energy around weeks 15-20 were soooo welcome after feeling like a lifeless vegetable during the 1st trimester. Then towards the end at weeks 25-26, the swollen feet, back pains, itchy tummy, etc etc just came full blast. Pregnancy really hits you in waves ; some moments you’re dancing on a cloud of euphoria and the next, you’re a sweating human wishing you had chosen to just stay home and curl up in bed all day. Oh well.

The mood swings have been there all right. I was none-the-wiser till my dear husband and siblings made comments like, “Eh, why so bitchy?” Hahahaha I’m mainly very grumpy towards my poor little nieces and nephews. Which doesn’t bode well for my own child, right? Hahaha.

All in all, I’m having a great time. Alhamdulillah. I still feel blessed every single day that we have a little one to call our own insyaAllah in a matter of a few months.

20 weeks!

1. How many months are you? 5
2. Family’s Reaction? positive!
3. Do you know the sex? hahaha funny story. went in for the detailed scan a couple days ago… was soooo looking forward to finding out the sex (all the months leading up to this day), and baby REFUSED to uncross his/her legs! after 3 rounds of scanning on the same day and still the same thing. ohhh wells. i guess we’ll have to exercise patience.
4. Biggest craving? sweet stuff, milky drinks, at times spicy soups?
5. Best part of being pregnant? having a baby at the end of it all! oh and also feeling loved when my husband admires my growing bump. 🙂 🙂
6. Worst part of being pregnant? FIRST TRIMESTER NAUSEA! swollen feet! being overly hormonal and over-thinking. having to be 1000x more careful about everything. haha but nothing is worse than the nausea and vomitting for me.
7. Names picked out? we’re set on a name if it’s a girl (it’s a name we’ve thought of since before getting married LOL) … we have a few names up for debate for a boy 😉
8. Who will be with you during labor? my husband
9. Birth plan? we’ll think of one when i reach my 3rd tri!
10. Will you film it? no
11. Natural or Medicated? hahaha i think we’ll go for whichever. i’m not opposed to a medicated birth (i.e epidural) because both my sister and sister-in-law had those and didn’t have anything negative to say about them. i’m of course aware that a natural birth is what most would aim for.. but i’m flexible. as long as my anak comes out safe and happy, insyaAllah
12. Scared about labor? haha nervous and still full of questions, yes. scared? no. it’s part of what i’ve signed myself up for, no? 🙂
13. What do you look forward to after pregnancy? kissing my baby a thousand times everyday hahahah
14. Breastfeed? i’ll try insyaAllah
15. Plan to work or be a stay at home mom? will have to continue to work
16. Will you make your own baby food? hmmm seeing as to how i’m cooking for my husband and family almost everyday, i hope so. quite comfortable in the kitchen already. but of course things will change inevitably, so we’ll see.
17. Do you have nursery ideas/themes? no. we’re just using the spare bedroom which is like a guest bedroom/solat room/storage room hahahaha

dealing with morning (whole day) sickness

the term “morning sickness” really is a grave understatement of what i’ve been going through… the all-day nausea, vomitting, and general fatigue and tiredness (SO MUCH TIREDNESS!!!) has made me feel less of myself…

i’ve tried ginger tea, ginger ale, eating small and regular meals, but yeah. pretty much been puking every single morning before 7 am and i even pleaded with my doctor to write an excuse letter from an outdoor camp with my students.

i can’t help but feel unprepared, lonely, and emotional as i’m being isolated in this condition. thankfully my husband has been nothing short of amazing through this process. i just can’t wait for better days. insyaAllah.

T-3 days say whaaaat?

I’m going to my andaman for my final fitting later this afternoon! Cutting it very close in my opinion with 3 days left, but what to do when your kak andam is the one who set the appointment date? Hahahaha

I’m excited to try on my outfits and reeeeaaallly hopeful that there won’t be any glitches because at this point I’m unsure if any alterations can be done with such short notice?

Work wise, Term 1 is coming to an end and I’m just sighing a huge breath of relief because today marks the end of all teaching for Term 1! Tomorrow will be a school activity and Friday i’ll be on leave already heheheheh

I’ll be having my henna party on Friday, at the complimentary chalet at The Chevrons. Dinner will be catered (cooked by a family friend), and a night’s sleep… and that’s it!

Also, I had to change my henna artist like a week ago because there was no response from the vendor Zahra Bridal Henna… only after I sent her a strongly worded message expressing my disappointment and dissatisfaction, she replied me. She was kind enough to apologise and ask if I would like to continue, but I said no. Fortunately I was able to find a replacement, Iffa Henna.. so far I’ve been really pleased with the excellent customer service. Plus, I’m like knocking myself on the head for not checking her out earlier, cos she’s super talented??? Hehehe.

I’ll see if I’ll have time to update again. If not, I’ll see you guys on the other side 😉